all great things are worth great contemplation (at least for me)
playing by myself is a particular feat i have not mastered. it will take time, practice, preparation, effort, prayer, and most of all, failure.
i may have to fail many many more times. but raleigh, in this way, seems nestle-y, with friends, supporters, & truest loved ones. i can fail and fail and stink and mess up, and they stand beside. but even if they didn’t, would i still feel compelled to face this feat of playing alone?
at the heart, i just know a few things:
the Lord gave me song. i may not be the most eloquent speaker, conversationalist, or writer, but the medium of song allows instant access to the deeper things, the roaring river of my thoughts and heart. and sometimes it’s nice to share that with people. maybe they’ll be encouraged to hear. maybe i’ll never be musically great or tight. i could be, but do i want that? most? but people may still want to hear. maybe only always on a small level. i just know i’ll always do it between myself and God, and that will always be sacred, and He’s always close in that music.
I can’t be afraid if no one else ever hears. I can’t be afraid if they do.
because i care about it, i know the Lord cares about it and wants to reveal more things to me, to guide me. i want to sing loud. i want to play powerfully. in time, i know. what does it look like to be a good steward of this gift?